Thursday, August 5, 2010

While I have your attention

FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

I Don't Even Care if I'm Being Used

Today is a very good day in my life, even though my horoscope said some pretty shittastic things about today. Here, hold on, I'll let you read it. I was born on December 10th, which makes me a Sagittarius. Here's what it says for July 22, 2010.

From horoscope.com: "In general, your spirit is upbeat, freedom loving, and adventurous, Sagittarius. Today, however, you might find that it's a bit more intense and possibly somber, especially when it comes to romantic issues. This approach to matters of the heart isn't exactly your normal style, but you're apt to find that it's appropriate for your situation now. Make sure you have the right tools for the job at hand."

Yeah. Okay, someone interpret that for me. You all know that I kind of have major crushes for this person who's going to be a junior in a month. Yeah, Jordie. -Sigh- She's so...yeah. And I do have an upbeat spirit today. But at the same time, I don't know the difference between intense and somber. Especially because intense isn't a word I use very often to describe things about my life. My mother, yeah, and maybe even my dad when he's working out or something, but not me. Also, what the fuck are the "right tools" for the job? I mean, I guess being good at organizing would be a good tool for the job at hand, considering that I'm helping Jordie organize all her stuff before she leaves for Jamaica until school starts.

Um, yeah. I kind of stalk her, but not, you know? She came to my room today. I can't believe she came to my room today. I was napping instead of going to lunch, and she knocked once and then came in. I didn't look up because I thought it was Justin coming to wake us up or something, but Qiu got up, and then all of a sudden I hear her voice. And I practically jumped out of bed. I just really, really don't want to end up in the friend zone. That would suck. I feel like I'm there, though. Oh well.

I'm going to go back to helping Jordie clean her room up in about fifteen minutes. I think that's enough time for a Scrabble game. Lord knows I'm not ever doing Deal or No Deal again...that was a cruel project, but it was fun-ish. If I didn't have to do all the games myself, I would have enjoyed it more. I'll have some pictures for you guys of some random stuff later this week. Just of the random things I like to take pictures of, you know? So...yeah.

I feel like today has been/is going to be a good day.

This could really be a good life.

L-O-V-E always,
Clarke

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

I Am So Happy

Knowing you are the one that I'll want for the rest of my days. I'm happy knowing that you are mine. The grass is greener on the other side. The more I think the more I wish that we could lay here for hours and just reminisce. Ooh, ooh. (Happy - Never Shout Never)

Hey guys! I'm in a good mood today. :o Shocking, right? I don't know. I fee like the only time I ever post anything (aside from now because of my edict) is when I'm having a shitty day. But today I haven't done too much. I mean, I went to class and I was on sporcle.com for two hours because I was so bored with my life, learned some interesting things, and stayed awake during class. Over all it was a success.

I'm sort of bored at the moment, though. Like, you have no idea how uninterested I am in my life right now. I get to go home on the 24th, and that's all I'm interested in right now. Just three more days. That's it. Just three days, and I don't have to worry about MSI or college for another month. Thank the sweet Lord.

Um, so I'm kind of done with everything today. I'm going to work on my math project and start playing Scrabble so that I can go to bed at a reasonable hour. Thanks for listening to me, guys. I know that I'm not as entertaining as I like to think that I am.

L-O-V-E always,
Clarke

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

This is My Life

I come home on the 24th, guys! Home from a solid month at Oxy, and now I'm sore and tired and overworked and underslept and my anxiety gets the best of me all the time so I end up at 3:30 in the morning crying to my RA about how my mother never really loved me and why can't I just be who I am and blah blah blah. Yeah. That's what spurred the poem last night. Well, okay, so I wrote it before last night but I read it for the MSI talent show last night and now it's eating me up and everything.

Anyway, I miss a lot of things and a lot of people and I think I'm slowly going insane, but honey I'm coming home soon. Hallelujah and oh, my God. I'm so happy to finally be on my way home sweet home. I miss my bed and I miss my television and twelve hours of sleep on a weeknight because I don't have class in the morning. I miss Gabby and Xan (who I got to open and play with for a half hour before putting him back away and not tak
ing him back to the dorms) and Hannahla and Hannah. I miss the Eilmeister and Julia and everyone else. I'm sorry I had to leave you for so long. I want to hang out. I miss my Kelly Dell, who I'm so proud of for telling me things over Facebook that nobody said you had to say. I miss being able to just talk and laugh and not have to analyze and think over every single book I read. I miss being able to wander into my bedroom at three in the morning because I stayed up too late watching television.

I miss sleeping naked.

I miss having a room to myself (even though I love Qiu with all my heart and hope she's my roommate for freshman year). I miss waking up to silence i
nstead of partying, and staying up watching tv and talking to friends instead of sta
ying up because there's a paper or a math project due the next day, but really this day but I can't sleep because I've got to work even though I've been up for 27 hours straight. I miss all that. But at the same time, I like so many of the people here. Even Checa. She's a total witch, but she's also really cool about it. Sometimes she comes off as an evil person, but she makes up for it. Hell, I even think that when I'm gone, I'll miss Daniel (who is the single most annoying and judgmental person in the world). I know I'm going to miss a few people I've crushed on. Okay, okay, you can have a list: Evan (though no more crush), Greg (who has a girlfriend), Qiu (who is straight and has like 3 people crushing on her), Aaron (who I still like/may have a chance with), Nancy (when did I realize that?), and the one name above names that I think I'm obsessed with even though I know she doesn't and probably will never like me like that (even though I brought her comfort food after she shared something that broke my heart): Jordie. Jordanne. Ho-Shue. Ugh.

Yeah. I think I'll miss her the most.

But the fact of the matter is that I have to go home. It's both, but this week seems pretty chill (or chill enough but deceptive). I'll have time to chill with people, there's a dance, and I'll dance and we'll chill. It'll be a good week, even though it's really hectic. I just...I'm trying to figure out why all of a sudden my brain decided that it wanted to like so many people at once. Maybe there are just too many cute people here and then I can't figure out exactly what she means...wait. No. Not she. It. I can't figure out what it means.

You see what MSI is doing to me? I'm half asleep, typing in class, and trying to figure out who the fuck I am and who I like and what the hell I'm going to do
about it. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Or not.

I don't really have anything important to say today, I just want to keep talking. Salem. Josh. Them as a couple. And possibly as nothing. What? When did they decide that maybe love couldn't be love if it couldn't be physical? Why can't it be physical? It's love, you know? They love each other. They really do, and I love the both of them.

I made Nancy cry last night. I didn't mean to. I think there was just a lot of emotion in Stefanie's room last night. I'm going to miss them both. They're so nice. So, so nice and they're such wonderful people. I don't deserve awesome like that, but I have it. I'm so glad I have it. I have awesome in Salem and Josh and all the other people that I know. It's wonderful. I have people. I have people. When did I realize that? I think when I woke up I kind of realized it, but I'm still trying to process it all. I didn't wake up until 10 o' clock. Class start
s at 9. Yeah. My anxiety has been haywire here. My tummy keeps gurgling and hating me.

I'm making a promise right now. Every day for a year, I'm going to write in this. I promise. By the time I reach July 20th, 2011, I will have written in this 365 times. And I won't give up. I'm committing to something, which I think is something that I'm secretly terrified of. I hate change. And commitment is change, but I'm going to commit to this and everything will be fine. It's just posting in a journal. Even if I don't have all that much to say. But I do today. Today, I have lots and lots and lots of things to say and I don't know if the words will stop. Maybe there's a word limit that will cut me off and I'll have to shut up. Hah.

Oh, here's a picture of a couple people that I like. Qiu and Jordan squared.

Oh, and I'm really ridiculously clumsy in a bad way when I'm here. I ran into a stair rail and ended up with a terrible, terrible bruise on my knee that's just started to go away a few days ago.
Bad, baaaaad bruise.

Yeah. I think I'm going to take a picture every day and upload it just to give you guys a sense of what goes on in my life, kay? Because I think you all who read this, what few, deserve to know what goes on in my life rather than these bigass blurbs that leave shit out because I don't remember it a few days later.

I HAVE A UNICORN WATER BOTTLE. How kickass is that? It's hot pink (to match a lot of the stuff for my dorm) and it has blue and green stars and dots on it and then white outlines of unicorns. Yeah. I have an awesome water bottle. And it gives me unicorn water. I secretly pull a Harry Potter and say that it's unicorn blood so that I can heal all my wounds and live forever. Muahahaha, I are a Voldermort. :B

Okay, I think I'm done being a nerd for the moment. I'm going to pretend to pay attention in class now while I play on Facebook and FrontierVille. Peace out for now.

L-O-V-E always,
Clarke

Monday, July 19, 2010

Something To Say

If I could finally tell my mother.

If I could finally tell my mother…

Dear Mom. No, I can’t do it in a letter.

Mom, we’ve gotta talk. No, real life doesn’t work either.

Mom. Mom? Mama, I’m…

Damn it mom, why do you make this so difficult?

I can say it to myself. I can say it to other people. I can even imagine saying it to dad. But to you? No. Never. Maybe?

Let me start at the beginning. But that would take too long.

If I could finally tell my mother.

Three years. It’s been three years dealing and fighting and fucking to figure out who the fuck I am. And I’ve got it.

Finally caught it. And your beliefs are like butter. So it falls through my fingers.

If I could finally make you see it.

If somehow, for a day, you could be it. Then maybe you’d understand it… why we yell about it.

But I can’t, and you aren’t and you won’t, so we do. You’ll never get it.

Can’t I just tell you what it is?

To me it is luscious and beautiful and precious and curvaceous or flat or somewhere in between. To me, it’s a woman.

To you, it’s an abomination.

If I could only tell my mother.

It’s not just women, the feminine that turns me on, that makes me love. It’s you and him and her and us and we and just…people when we only have to…be.

When will me be good enough?

If I could finally tell my mother.

Maybe it’s a cultural thing.

Dykes, butch, homos, lesbians, faggots?

When did these words find their way into my community? Into the black community? Into my home?

I guess when I got here, right? So it’s my fault?

My fault that I can’t stop the yelling whenever we talk about religion.

My fault that you think fags should burn in hell? That I should burn in hell.

Stop. Pause. I need a minute. Gotta think.

What am I gonna tell you when it gets to be too much, too intense in my head?

I’m almost there. Some days I wish…I think.

And I repent. I don’t want to be dead.

I want to live and love just like you never told me I could.

I tried to love the way I knew I should.

Should? Or did because I wanted your approval.

But I’m coming up and moving on.

I’ve got feelings I can’t take

And these things I can’t shake

And I gotta tell you. Gotta go on. It’s driving me insane to hide things.

I’m coming up. I need to spread my wings.

I need space. I need time.

But even that goes by too fast.

So I’m coming out.

What? Wasn’t I supposed to be coming up?

To be a strong woman. To love. To be loved. To have and to hold until death do somebody part.

Mama, that’s what I am.

So I’m coming up. I’m coming out. I’m me, mama.

And I can finally be proud.

I can love a man. And I can love a woman.

And I can love all the things in between and underneath and inside out and upside and do you get the point yet?

I’m tired of fighting and fucking to figure out who the fuck I am.

I’ve got it.

Finally caught it.

And I had to share it with someone.

This time somebody was you.

I’ve gone through this scenario so many times inside my head

And realize that I could say all that but think instead…

“If I could finally tell my mother.”

Sunday, June 27, 2010

I Know, I'm A Terrible Flake

But this time, important/fun things have happened, so once again my life has purpose and meaning enough to blog. And I've stopped being a lazy fart and decided to actually blow the dust off this thing. And I've got enough to write for this not to be a really boring, pathetic excuse for an entry because I've got nothing of real import to say.

No, ladies and gentlemen, this time, I HAVE NEWS that are relevant to the world. But I'm gonna be a bugger and make you wait until the end to see what this really, REALLY big news is.

First things first, I'm at Occidental College! For a whole, month-long summer program. I have an awesome, AWESOME roommate, and her name is Qiu, but it's pronounced Cho. She's on blogspot, too! She's really sweet, and she's kind of like me. It's a great change of pace from being around annoying people all the time. Now I get to spend time with people that I actually like. And my room looks pretty badass, too. I'm not gonna lie, decked out with all my pink accessories, I think that my little space is quite the ass kick.


Yep. That's my space. Note: hot pink shredder. Qiu is really, really sweet. Okay, so sue me. I might have a little crush on her. But she's really straight. Like, I get the vibes from her straightness in waves. She exudes heterosexuality. But I can dream. I'm not gonna put her picture up, but she's the sweetest girl. Really.

In other news, and my only other news, I GOT MY SHIPPING NOTICE ABOUT XAN ON FRIDAY AT 10:00 PM. That means that he should be at my house in like...a week. EEEEEEE. I'm really pleased. I'm so, so, so excited for him to finally come home, you have no idea. I promised myself that I wouldn't uberrant, though, so I'm going to go now.

L-O-V-E always,
Clarke

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Illness

Hey everybody.

Ugh, I'm sick. I finished my last paper of high school and turned it in today. Now I have to do community service. And I have to find a new place to do it. I think I'm going to volunteer at my elementary school. :]

Kay, naptime. Just wanted to let you all know that I was alive.

DAY 30. One month exactly since I've been waiting for my baby. I hope that he shows up in the next month. Else I may have to shoot someone down at Eden Doll. D:

L-O-V-E always,
Clarke

Monday, May 17, 2010

Still Waiting

Hey everyone. The wait has moved into day 20, and I'm starting to get a little bit antsy. I'm almost tired of waiting, but at the same time, I know I have to and I'm excited that I'm waiting for something that I want. I just wish that I could have Xan now and not have to wait for him. I know I'm going to love him the minute I lay eyes on him, and I'd like to just have him already.

But patience is key, is it not?

Anyway, prom was on Friday. :) I had sosososososoooooo much fun. I have to upload all the pictures from my phone to Facebook. Until then, though, here's two pictures of me and my date and then just me to tide you over. :D



That's me and my date (Giovanni). Too cute, right?

And then there's me and my dress. I look so grown up and straaaaange.

Okay, that should tide you over for now. I have more pictures to post that have nothing to do with my life on a Sunday afternoon than take pictures and make lameass videos about nothing. :) The pictures are in the video, so I'll just give y'all the video. Go on, laugh at it. I do. Promise. Okay, okay, I'll stop writing and actually post the video now.


This is my life, okay? Don't judge me.

I have no life. I'm in American Identities right now, and they're talking about homosexuality, being an individual, and ten-year-old kids who are total douches. Aka, I'm not really paying attention, but this is what I'm getting out of the lecture. I'm probably going to continue not to pay attention and stuff. Oh hey, he just mention Jerry Springer. Cool. I watch that show. And, like, without shame, too. And Maury. And Cheaters. I'm a sucker for daytime television.

Okay, onto something actually worth something. My last week of school schedule:

Wednesday
-Chorus field trip
-Dramatic Literature One Act
Thursday
-Physics Boat Regatta
-Comedy Sportz show
Monday
-American Identities final
-Turn in Dramatic Literature final paper?
Tuesday
-Physics final
-Turn in Dramatic Literature final paper?
Thursday
-Dramatic Literature final paper due at 10:15
-Begin community service (to June 4th)

I know, right? This is just school. /shot. I'd much rather just sleep and have summer already. I got three really good fortunes from fortune cookies yesterday, though, so I'm hoping that it means that Xan is coming soon, summer vacation will be wonderful, and that I'm going to inherit a large sum of money soon. Maybe I can order Aaron sooner than I think I'll be able to. I hope. Maybe. Xan won't be right without Aaron.

Anyway, I'm not really doing anything worth anything anymore, so I'm gonna leave you with one more random picture and then let you go for awhile. Thanks for reading this...if you actually did read to the very end. Bravo. Brava.


L-O-V-E always,
Clarke

Friday, May 7, 2010

Day Ten, And Other Things

Rawr! And Hello~

Today marks the tenth day in my wait for my dear Xan. I'm like...stalking Eden Doll's website. Even though I know it'll be at least four weeks until he's there. /Nerdfail.

I had a lot of fun last night. I livestreamed with my two favorite people, and we stayed up talking/roleplaying until just after 1:30. God, I love them. So. Much. Fun. Honestly, this has been a pretty awesome week. I don't have school today, and I didn't have class on Tuesday. I spent time with a few people I like, and then come home to basically no curfew because my grandmother goes to bed incredibly early. But family comes back home this weekend, which is good. I missed them.

Oh, so about a week ago was Dana's birthday, and we took a crapload of pictures during our free period. Here's a few of my favorite.

Here, I am a monster, chasing Dana away~

Insert Andrew the Creeper here~
Dana and I are space pirates. :)

This one's my favorite. We're actually cute! :O

We're busy being cute, and Andrew's in the background, just creepin'. :'D

Okay, well, with that out of the way, I don't have much else to say. I'm going to continue stalking Eden Doll until I get my baby. I've ordered bracelets, a necklace, and a beanie/muffler for him already. They'll be here before he is, unfortunately. But that's okay! He'll be dressed all pretty when he shows up~

L-O-V-E always,
Clarke

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Have You Ever?

Been in love with someone that you know you’ll never have because you’re never going to be right for them? I have.

Cried yourself to sleep because you want to pull away two people who are clearly in love? Knowing full well that you love both of them and that doing this might ruin two friendships? I have.

Learned about everything that the person you’re in love with likes just so you can impress them? I have

Not felt good enough because you’ll always just be a friend? I have.

Just wanted to give up? I have.

But life keeps going, whether or not we’re ready for it, right? So I guess I’d better hold on tight so I don’t fall off the ride.

L-O-V-E always,
Clarke

Saturday, May 1, 2010

I'm In A Shitty Mood

And no, I don't want to talk about this.

So putting this up is completely pointless. Whatever. At this point, I don't give a fuck.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

What did you dream about last night?

The weirdest EFFING thing. I had a dream that my mother was going on a work trip, but then my cousin was at my house and helping move my grandma into my house, but we weren't bringing in her stuff, we were bringing in frozen groceries from the trunk. And then I took her car and drove through a jungle to get to school. And I saw Katie Eiler and tried to say hello (she was in the weirdest outfit), but she was mad and didn't look at me. And then I saw Mrs. Fox and we talked, but then I got into the elevator to come up to talk to her instead of taking the stairs, and I got stuck in the elevator and almost passed out, but apparently it was a really easy thing to fix. And then I woke up. Dude, this is why I need a good eight hours of sleep: so I don't have creepy dreams like that.

At least I'm honest.

Homework, Essays, and Best Friends

So, yesterday afternoon, I was totally stressed out to the point that I was ready to do something really stupid. And then Josh and Salem signed on. I've come to realize that these two people have become two people that I don't think I can live without. Some days, it feels like they're my reason for living. Salem had prom (as his brother's date), and I think he looked absolutely adorable. He says he had loads of fun, danced for four hours, and that he did the stanky leg (which I would have given my leg to see). And then Josh and I started a computer call (like Skype...only with msn and more awesome), and we talked until he went to bed. By the end of the night, I was completely and totally unstressed, and I really do have his voice to thank.

Josh's voice is a combination of Southern Comfort (if he's Southern and Salem is comfort then Josh + Salem = southern comfort XD), happiness, and the biggest hug/cuddle. There's practically no way to not feel comfortable talking to him. I dunno. He's such a nerd, too. But I guess I am. We had a battle of the awesomeness, and I won. :) What we do is pick a topic (animal noises, Pokemon, etc...), and the person who can name the most wins. Well, I believe I was at a distinct advantage, as I have memorized every single Pokemon up to number 4oo. Needless to say, I won that battle, and then proved to him that I am the biggest nerd on the planet by reciting every Pokemon theme song possible (Yes, really).

All in all, it was one of the best nights I've had in a long time. Now I've got to do work, but I have to remember that if I just work hard and do my best, the grade will take care of itself. I can't control what the teacher gives me as a grade or how they decide to look at my paper for grading. What I cannot control is not trying to hurt me. I'm going to work on this paper, and it's going to turn out just great. Yes, I believe it will.

Now I just have to finish reading the book and then write an essay. But it's only like...2.5 or 3.5 single spaced pages, which is five or seven double spaced pages. Be not fooled, all, I have a few tricks up my sleeve if I need length at the last minute without even touching the margins. I believe that I'll be just fine on this paper.

So, in non paper related news, I absolutely love my computer. Kelsa Mai is lightning fast, and she always does what I ask her. Goodness me, she is a doll.~

Now onto the obligatory doll-related news:
I HAVE TRANSFERED THE MONEY TO PAYPAL. It's processing. It should be there on the 28th of this month. That would be Wednesday. Which means that there is a distinct possibility that I will be ordering Xanifel on Wednesday, April 28th, 2o1o. OMG! Yeah. [insert wild freakout here.] As you can see, I'm sooooo uber excited about this accomplishment. I don't have any more money for Aaron, but I probably won't until summer, anyway. I have to start thinking about saving up for things I need for college.

And also for a cell phone. I kind of lost mine either at school or at my grandma's house or somewhere in Southern California. I couldn't actually tell you where it is. I'm going to put an announcement up in our school bulliten saying that I lost my phone and that I kind of would love it back if anyone took it. And put up posters. Because I love Pepper, and I tend to lose really small objects. Pepper happens to be a really small object. Ugh. -facepalm- I had him last on Wednesday. I swear I did. Like, I know it for a fact that I had him on Wednesday. And now he's just poofed off. I'll ask the librarians tomorrow if they've seen him. I do miss my boy. He's probably exceedingly unhappy with me for losing him. -Grimace- But it's stupid, because the cell phone company says he's not insured. But I know he is because when you renew the two-year contract, the insurance renews. That's how it works.

Apparently not anymore. D: I'm going to call my service provider sometime this week and ask them why my phone isn't insured. Because that's muy retardoso (yay, fake Spanish).

All right! I've put off this paper for long enough. Time to get cracking and get this beat of a thing done. I promise to have better updates that aren't about really random things next time...Or do I? My train of thought is always really scattered. Like, bad.

L-O-V-E always,
Clarke

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

What message would you want to put in a fortune cookie?

At first, I was going to say something insanely sexual, but I was like...no. Let's be real. In all actuality, I'd put in something I'd like to get. If I had to actually think about it, "Relax, you're going to be just fine," would probably be my number one choice. Sometimes you need to hear that every once in a while. I know I do. I mean, I tell myself, sure, but I'm supposed to actually take my own advice? Psh, yeah right.

At least I'm honest.

Do you believe in life after death?

I honestly don't know. I think that there's something. There's gotta be something. We don't all just rot in a hole and do absolutely nothing for the rest of the time that we have to spend on Earth. I don't think our brains just cease to exist. But I dunno what I really believe in. I think there's something, but maybe it isn't life.

At least I'm honest.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Bored, Yes?

So, I'm sitting in American Identity, and I'm bored out of my FACE. So basically, this is my only solace. I have to let you all know now that I'm going to put myself into a hole starting on Thursday afternoon because I have to read my American Identity book and write an essay in four days. So yeah. I'm going into a hole and there will be no internet. Really. I'm cutting off the internet connection, and I'm not cutting it back on until I'm done.

So this is possibly my least favorite weekend ever in second semester of senior year. I should be taking notes right now. XD Um, what am I gonna do right now? I don't have very much to say. Just wanted to tell everyone that I was bored. BOOOOOOOOORED. Out of my mind. Yeah. Basically. Woohoo. Uhhh...LOOK A PENGUIN.

No, not really. That's all for now.

OH! I got a laptop. She's a Dell Studio XPS 16, and her name is Kelsa Mai. I love her very much, and I got her on Sunday. Much love for her. So, soooo much love.

L-O-V-E always,
Clarke

Doll Count: $4.66/$435.00 -- 1.07%

Sunday, April 18, 2010

I DID IT

So, on April 12, 2o1o, I had enough money to order Xanifel Eprium Nevid-ja. Yay! So in typical me fashion I rushed to the bank to put the money into the bank. Now PayPal just has to get its shit together and actually transfer the money over. BLARGERRAAAWR. Meanwhile, I have started to save up for my next doll, who will be a Doll In Mind Ace. He's definitely going to be getting new wigs and an outfit and all that jazz, because I hate how weak and ethereal he looks in the store photos.

Okay, not so fun part. Guess how much he costs plus shipping. $435.00! Why yes, that is more than Xan costs. $51.72 more, to be exact. Then again, Xan loves Aaron and must have his lover, so I will listen to the voice in my head that is Xanifel and I will buy him so that they can live together and be happy and all that sappity stuff.

IN OTHER DOLL RELATED NEWS:
I was searching through Den of Angels, as I often find myself doing instead of doing homework and being a functioning member of society, and came across a title: "Dollfie's Drag Race [Season 1]". This was my reaction: "/SF GSDGSLUDFG VSLJDF HSJD HIZPDSFVGVIPBBDNV. YES." I am pleased. As an avid RuPaul's Drag Race watcher, I do believe that this is the best damn idea anyone has ever, ever had. Ever. Even better than America's Next Top Doll Model. Loads better. Heaps and mounds and leaps and bounds better...I assume you're getting my point.

Alas, news that are not doll-related.

I'm almost done with senior year and I know where I'm going to college. HOLY CRAP THAT'S SCARY. We're done with classes on May 20th, and I've been searching for summer jobs. My first day of COLLEGE COURSES starts on September 1st. I think I'm just a little bit more than a little creeped out by this, you know? I don't really want to grow up. I mean, I want to, but I never thought it would be happening so fast. I want to take a breather and I want time for me to be me, not to have to start packing for college now and stuff. I'm not ready for adulthood yet.

I know I'll have fun in college, but I'd like just a little more time to be able to be an immature brat who whines and complains. Just for a little bit longer. Mrr... I'm hungry (totally sidetracked by tummy) >.<". And we're back with cereal. Sorry about that. Where was I? I don't really want to talk about college anymore. So, happy things: I may be getting a laptop TODAY/sometime in the very near future. OH SNAP. Yesssss. Very yay. Then I can be a nerd on the computer and nobody can stop me. MUAHAHAHAHAHA.

In other, other news, you should all watch this video: This one. I'm in it. And if we win, we get $10,000. Can you say hello, Aaron? But the powers at be will probably say "hello, college fund." Either way, it helps. So watch it, like it, comment on it. Pretty please. I think that's about it. I mean, really.

Blurghhh. I really gotta finish watching Sailor Moon (which will happen faster when I have my own laptop). So yeah. Minimal progress on that. L-O-V-E always,
Clarke

Doll Fund: $4.66/$435.00 -- 1.07%

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Oops

I suppose I forgot about this. Well, no I didn't. I've just been a lazy bastard. XD

Okay, so I don't know if my mother realized this or not after I went shopping with her for crap I need this weekend, but she didn't take back money from my card afterward. I think she thought she was just giving me allowance for the week. But in reality, she gave me a little over two weeks worth of allowance. Which is an additional $98.72 into my fund. Not only that, I found small change in my car. :] So my grand total puts me at up over 80%!

$319.19 / $383.28, which is 83.28%. I'm squealing and dying of happy on the inside. I made a goal for myself to be able to afford him by April 15th, 2010, and if all goes well (she doesn't take the money away), and I get my allowances at the right time, I'll be able to afford him in exactly two weeks, which is April 12th, three days before my self-imposed deadline. YAAAAY! When I can afford him, I'm gonna beg my mother to let me transfer money to PayPal to actually be able to pay for him. Which means convincing her that I've saved up all this time, so I should be able to buy him. It is my money after all. But after all that, I'm gonna go out and buy Starbucks and have a burrito from this really goooood place right up the street from school. Oh, how I've sacrificed for my baby. Totally worth it, but I miss my Starbucks fix. XD

Yes. My mother. She's been really good lately, which kind of worries me. I went shoe shopping the other day, and I got a Tamagotchi. XD Yeah, I'm a cool kid. I'm also planning a Wal-Mart excursion in the near future so that I can buy more coloring books. Since second semester seniordom, I've been very, veeeery lazy.

But yeah, that's about it. I was going to rant earlier because I was having a shitty day, but I feel like since I have five frees today, I shouldn't be complaining about anything. Yeah.

Oh, and Sal's present has officially gotten into Eden Doll and is shipping today! Hopefully it gets there within a week. I shall be stalking it like a crazy woman. :)

You stay classy, San Diego (Anchorman reference).

L-O-V-E always,
Clarke

Doll Fund: $319.19/$383.28 -- 83.28%
Current Anime: Sailor Moon (episode 1o8/2oo) -- Everything's Coming Up Rosy

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Long, looooomg day. I'll tell you all about it tomorrow, kay? I can't wait to be asleep.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Alice, Money, Life, and Ditching Class

Oh yes. I have quite a few things to talk about, and have no idea exactly where I want to start.

First, my apologies for being very unposty. I know. But I've been blah lately. On Thursday, I saw Alice in Wonderland at midnight. It was so very, very good. Especially the futterwagon (I think that's how you spell it). Johnny Depp was amazing (as per usual), and I had a generally wonderful time. Then, on Saturday, I hung out with a friend who was home for spring break, and we got all gussied up to see the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Until Saturday at midnight, I was a Rocky virgin. It was so, soooo much fun. Here's a couple pictures for your viewing entertainment. I warn you: it's better not to ask questions.

New friends!
Stockinged/Fishnetted legs
Me in my whory glory

And finally, the Virgin V.

Next order of business: I have a new phone! It's the Pantech Impact. Oh, and I got it in pink! Again, it's better not to ask. His name is Pepper Mint (two words. Not one) and he's Canadian. I love him very much, and I will attempt to take very good care of him. He's so cute! And he does YouTube and the internet and music playing and picture taking. He's like a mini-computer. And he's pink. Yes. I'm infatuated/possibly in lust with my phone.

Now money. I've added to the Doll fund! I'm now 38.5% of the way toward my baby! I'm still wishing for him on 11:11, so we'll see if I actually get to order him on April 15, 2o1o. At this point, probably not. But I'm hoping to definitely have him before I leave for college. If not, I'll still find a way to get him. Xan is definitely going to be here. With me. Before my nineteenth birthday. -Sharp nod- I've decided.

Recently, my emotions have been kind of blah. Like, just not there, so I haven't really been in the mood to do anything. Writing this much to tell you guys anything is a big deal. Really. I haven't done homework in over a week and I have a test and a quiz tomorrow. I just don't care about it anymore. Part of it is because I have senioritis, and the other part is that I'm just exhausted. Physically and mentally. I'm ready for this just to be done and over with. Really I am. It makes no sense. I want to know where I got into college now and decide now and be able to pay for it now and just get up and go. I want to move. I need to move. I'm like Tom in The Glass Menagerie: I've had enough of the mundane and the yelling and the insanity. I need adventure, and I'm tired of going to the movies to get it. I need a fire escape. So today, after second period, I decided that I was going to go home. I went to the front office, played sick, got permission to go home, drove home. I'm not sick. Really. I just needed to get away. I couldn't focus on anything, and being stuck in a classroom was suffocating me. So I finally had a chance to get away. Thank. God.

I've been going to the Boys and Girls Club recently, and they're having a talent show. The entry fee is three dollars, but first place wins $1oo, which I could definitely use. So I'm going to enter. And I'm going to sing Lady Antebellum's Need You Now. It's a really good song. It sort of speaks to a lot of what's been going on in my life. I need someone or something, but I have no idea what it is. They know what it is and all, but I need it now, and I don't know how much longer I can go without it. Or at least learning what it is.

Lately, I've been really into origami. I've made boxes and strawberries and goldfish, and when I wake up from my nap, I'm going to attempt this apple. And then take pictures of them because this is what I do when I get bored. Maybe people will like them. Also, Will and Grace is the most amazing sitcom I think I've ever watched. I'm absolutely hooked. /Will probably end up watching that instead of napping.

To the two of you that actually read this, thank you for listening to what I have to say. I know a lot of the time I write about nothing, but it's a much needed release from what's going on in real life. Thanks for giving me a fire escape.

L-O-V-E always,
Clarke

Doll Fund: $147.41/$383.28 -- 38.46%
Current Anime: Sailor Moon (episode 1o3/2oo) -- Hello, Sailor Mini Moon

Thursday, March 4, 2010

So... Alice in Wonderland

Tonight. 12:03 AM. ASKDJAFSHIF IOHDAFOBHAOFDHBGKCBXNIH BSNRGB.

That is all. :)

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

The Shit I Put Up With

So, I'm not happy. And the cause of that is multiple factors.

First, my aunt won't let me buy Xanifel. She says that he's utterly useless and that buying him is a waste of my money and her giving me an allowance. She says that if I continue to save up for him, she'll have no choice but to only send me to school with lunch money. Now, I plan to continue saving up for my baby in secret, but I'll admit that it's more than a little upsetting.

Second, I'm sick with something that I just can't seem to shake, but I've been sick, so I've come to expect that.

Third, my way of making money (selling my books to a used bookstore) has been terminated. All the bookstores in my area only give book credit, and it's kind of stupid. I mean, if I'm selling you my books, you think that I wantto get paid in sotre credit for other used books? No. Absolutely not. I want to be paid in cold hard cash. But apparently, I'll have to find a new medium of selling these books if I want to get rid of them for profit. And it'll be more footwork and more time out of my already busy schedule.

The upside to all of this is that I have a job interview/tryout for a lifeguard position at my local aquatic center this weekend. I hope that I get selected for the job because I really need to work this summer. Whether my aunt likes it or not, I'm buying my baby. Another upside is that I finally have my bank account all set up and running again, and it's connected to PayPal. Woohoo. So I think I may buy things for Xanifel and just not buy Xan until the summer when I can afford to pay for him with the money I earned working over the summer. But that means that I'll have to probably give my address as the college I'm going to. That scares the crap outta me. College. -Shivers-

Hmm... I've been talking to Ebly again. I don't know what to make of it. I love him, but I think we both want different things to come out of this. I want to forgive him for just leaving. Really I do. Bt I also want to be so, so mad at him for leaving and hurting me and Salem. Twice. I want to yell and scream at him and then hug him and make him swear to me that he'll never do it again. I'm afraid that he's going to leave. I can't let him come back if he leaves a third time.

Let's end on a happy note: I've been watching Sailor Moon, and I've also gotten more money, which is a very, very good thing. Tonight, in lieu of watching American Idol, I'm going to curl up with Pirates of the Caribbean and try to get my review done for the other blog. So yes: money, Sailor Moon, and Johnny Depp.

SPEAKING OF HIM: I'm watching Alice in Wonderland at midnight on Thursday, which means that a review of that movie will be along very quickly. I'm so excited!

L-O-V-E always,
Clarke

Doll Fund: $126.74/$383.28 -- 33.07%
Current Anime: Sailor Moon (episode 95/2oo) -- Blinded By Love's Light

Saturday, February 27, 2010

OW -- A Rant

For those weak of heart: do not read on.

So, today is not a day just like any other. Today, the cramps from Hell have returned. Yes. I know you are all deeply interested in how I feel like I'm hemorrhaging (isn't that a lovely mental image?), but I really don't care. I feel the need to rant about shit today, and now you all know that it's not going to be coherent because I'm being a girl. UCK.

Well, first of all, my aunt was supposed to take me to get a bank account yesterday. And then she came home and was too tired. I had about this much sympathy for her --> . I know, I'm evil and cruel, but whatever. She pinkie promised, which are kind of the promises that are the most important. I take my promises very seriously, and anyone who doesn't keep them falls a peg or two. She did make me tea, however, so I suppose she's not that bad.

Anyway. I still don't have a bank account. In other news, mother has been really nice lately, and it's kind of creeping me out. Maybe she started going to counseling or something. I dunno. I'm wary.

I'm trying to find a ball-jointed doll that's between 48 and 55 cm for Xan to love and have and hold forever, but they seem to be far and few in between. Some of Luts' Delf dolls fit the bill, so we'll see. Damn but Luts is expensive. I'm waiting on this little one first. However, I need to find a way to start making money. I can make origami strawberries, but that's not really all that amazing, is it? I plan on selling books and stuff, but I need to find a used bookstore. I also have a lifeguard interview next weekend. We'll see how this goes.

Onto bigger things. In American Identity, we have sections. The problem with sections is this one boy who I would like to strangle. Let's call him... "Bill." Bill has this annoying habit of talking really loudly when he wants to get his point across. Not to mention that everything that comes out of Bill's mouth is Republican bullshit. And not even the intelligent kind. It's the kind of "We should trust America at all costs. So what if they're taking away our privacy and so what if it goes further? We're America. We need to be protected and we should all want to give up everything for our country" bullshit that makes me want to die. There's a side of "Racism is never going to end so we should just get used to it, but terrorism we can stop because we're America" bullshit. I can't wait to argue with him when we get to talking about...homosexuality. I will have my facts straight and put his little not-knowing self to shame. God, he annoys the hell out of me every time he opens his big, fat mouth. Jesus, Bill. Just Jesus.

Furthermore, I don't understand why cramps happen. I mean, I understand that my uterus is falling out (another delicious mental image), but why does it have to hurt like a mother fucker? I don't get it. I want to stab whatever "God" there is that would make this shit happen. And hurt. I don't even want kids. I hate them. Why can't I just go to the doctor and have them scrape the whole disgusting thing out? That way there will be no more hemorrhaging and flaky uteri. God, I'm being so vulgar, aren't I? Jesus.

And to top it all off, I still haven't watched another episode of Sailor Moon. I plan on changing that in the very, very near future (as soon as I post this, I'm curling up with a hot water bottle, tea, and the computer). I need a laptop. Then I can watch it from bed. Ah well. I can't always get what I want.

Okay, now I want to talk a little bit about school and chorus and all those "fun" extracurricular activities. First of all, I have to be at school today from one to three. Why? It's raining (fucking Southern California doesn't have its shit together), and I'm not in a good mood. AUGH. And on Sunday at 3:3o, I have to be at a church in South Pasadena to sing for chorus. Wait. Rewind. It's a school class. Why should I sing your fucking Jesus music at a church? What if its against my religion? It kind of is, seeing as I'm particularly allergic to churches. They stand for oppression and conformity. You know what? Fuck churches. Fuck Jesus. Fuck it all. I hate churches. I hate being in them and singing for them and learning in them. Fuck the teacher, too. Good God I hate him. Just. No. I have to wear a dress that makes me look like a piece of drapery and heels. I have to stand in front of old men and women who can't sing a lick, and I have to do it with cramps for an hour. Damn it all.

I complain a lot. But I swear, it'll only happen when I feel like the world hates me (or I'm hemorrhaging). So yeah. I'm off to watch Sailor Moon now. Maybe when I get home from school my aunt will take me to go get my stupid bank account. Which we're probably going to do with the Credit Union.

I wish I could put a maturity warning on this thing because I just read it, and I feel the need to shower. Yep. Oh well.

L-O-V-E always,
Clarke

Doll Fund: $84.96/$383.28 -- 22.17% (I bought his wig)
Current Anime: Sailor Moon (episode 73/2oo) -- Smart Payoff

P.S. I'm having a moment of weakness. I wish somebody cared.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Idol Flop

American Idol: the girls so far are not impressing me. Can I have Adam Lambert back please?

Sunday, February 21, 2010

I'm Home!

And tired as fuck. :)

I was out of town on Friday and most of Saturday. I came home at around five and was in bed by 5:o3. I hate sleeping in a bed that's not mine, and I quickly got reacquainted with my long lost bedsheets. I then proceeded to sleep like the dead until approximately ten minutes ago. But now I'm up and it's time to start being productive and stuff. I don't have too much to do homework-wise. Physics is the only thing that may prove challenging. Math and English are the other assignments I have to work on, but I plan on having a lot of fun with it. Yeah, I know, I have fun with math because I am one of the biggest nerds on the planet.

Nerdiness aside, I'd just like to say that I've got to stop having homework as a second semester senior so that I can actually watch Sailor Moon and movies like I planned to. Hell, I'll probably end up doing that anyway, so what's the point in saying I wish I had less to do? Oh, right, for the sake of having something to say.

Um, I don't really have too terribly much to talk about. I miss Sal and Josh, but I hope to talk to them tonight. Time to count money for the Doll Fund!

/counts . . . five minutes later

Wow. $75.1o. I have more than I thought I did. Awesome. I'm at about 2o% of the way to Xanifel, which means that I may have to change my ticker to some date that isn't April 15th. I mean, another month or couple weeks after that shouldn't be so bad, right? At least I'm making progress. I hope to be much more frugal over the next few months, sell a few books [/grimace], and things like that. I mean, I have books that I'm never going to read again. I might ask the family to move their cars from the driveway and put out all the books I'm never going to read for sale. Depending on how old they are, that's how I'll price them. I'm thinking of selling my Twilight books too, even though I'm kind of fond to them. But it's not like I ever plan to read them again...Yeah. I've got some decisions to make. And I plan on having this sale next weekend at the latest.

Oh! I may be getting my very own bank account. :) It'll happen next weekend (if I'm not busy), and then I'll be able to put money into my PayPal account and start a very tangible fund for Xanifel that is on the computer. Yeah. Woo.

Okay, that's it. I'm gonna go be productive and do homework, then scrub down my car and start on getting things organized to sell in my room. Yay money earning.

L-O-V-E always,
Clarke

Doll Fund: $75.1o/$383.28 -- 19.59%
Current Anime: Sailor Moon (episode 73/2oo) -- Smart Payoff

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Oh, Shit

It's Valentine's Day. Also known as Single Awareness Day. I'm not so sure I like either. I mean, sure, I like the idea of Valentine's Day, but the actual holiday blows. It's the time where if you leave your house, all you see are couples trying to such each others' faces off or eating chocolate.

I want someone to give me chocolate.

Even still, I have Valentines. Technically. I have Sal and Ebly. But they both have boyfriends. Which means that they both have the actual Valentine's Day thing going on, and I don't want to intrude upon that. So I won't.

Hmm, I haven't actually been productive lately. I think that I'll do homework and actually start on that list that I've been putting off forever. The one that involves a major cleaning. Then again, I could do homework and then sit and watch television. Or even stay on the computer and watch Sailor Moon. OR I could be a really productive member of society and go to the mall and see if anyone's hiring. If I want to buy Xan before I leave for college, my ass needs a job.

I wonder who would be hiring. I may ask the local Wal-Mart, and since I'm seventeen now, more stores in the mall will actually think about hiring me. This means, however, that I have to put on nice-ish clothing and drag myself away from the computer. I could always do it Monday and make a list today of the different stores that are hiring.

HA! That's a great idea. Yay, self-satisfaction with being lazy. Unless I can hang out with Rimi. Then we'll go to the mall and try to be upstanding teenagers. -Rolls eyes- Yeah, okay.

It beats being alone on Valentine's Day.

I don't really have anything to say. I should probably stop typing now.

L-O-V-E always,
Clarke

Doll Fund: $49.45/$383.28
Current Anime: Sailor Moon (episode 73/2oo)
-- Smart Payoff

Friday, February 12, 2010

Mama, oh Mama

Let me please leave.
-Christofer Drew (The Past)

Addendum: sometimes what isn't said speaks louder than what you think I mean. Are you listening?

Thursday, February 11, 2010

And I Can't Seem to Relax

Not much to say here, really. I'm talking for the sake of talking. Just setting up what I plan to be doing in the next few weeks and whatnot. I'm just about back to where I started saving for Xanifel, which is good. And next week, we'll have even more progress. My goal is to have my baby ordered by April 15, 2o1o. That would be ideal, and it would also make me so happy.

Doll talk aside, I wanted to update the two of you that read this about what's going on in life. I had my last water polo game today (we won!), and it was a very interesting game. I was rubbed upon, hit on in the locker room, called sexy, stared down my coach (in addition to the rest of the team), got a rose from my coach because I'm a senior, and cried. All in all a very productive day of water polo. Now, however, I have to take care of both my finger (which is hurting like hell) and the rest of my body. Now that I'm not in the water every day, I'll be able to have a chance at staying remotely healthy for the rest of the school year.

That's about it social life wise. I don't really have much of one. So, onto the lists. There will be lists for the following things detailing procedure and all that jazz: cleaning/reorganizing my room and all my stuff, watching Sailor Moon and other anime, reading, watching/possibly reviewing RuPaul's Drag Race (seasons 1 and 2 [currently in progress]), and watching Will & Grace. I feel like I have to explain the final one. I was with my cousin, and she was watching Will & Grace. After watching a few episodes, I feel like I would be doing a disservice to myself if I were to deprive myself of the hilarity that is this show for much longer. Its witty and actually has a semi-continuous plot line, even though the majority of the guys are gay. That may make the show a bonus... Indeed, indeed it does.

Alas, I digress. Lists, as promised. AND I counted money, so I'll have an exact count today. :]

Cleaning/Reorganizing the room:
  • Sort all clothing into piles and wash. Fold and put away.
  • Clear all junk/trash/do-not-belongs. Sort into sellable and keepable piles. Put away the keepables.
  • Sort all books into three categories: keep, sell, return. -Groan- I don't want to sell any of my books. I like them all too much. I hate giving them away. What if I miss them? I know I won't, but I get attached to them. I like books. More than I like shoes. Hmm...they're like my babies.
  • Organize the sewing drawer. -Grimace- Just...yes.
  • Clean all counter-tops and open spaces from clutter. Recycle papers and stuff.
  • Gather all shoes and sort: sell, give away, trash, keep. Unfortunately, I am a pack rat, and I own shoes that will do no good to anyone ever again. Blame my mother. She likes to hang on to things.
  • Create a sewing area in the room dedicated solely to the materials for sewing. That includes: sewing machine, fabrics, glue gun and glue.
  • Dedicate a space for Xanifel. Do not put anything in this space, no matter how tempting it seems.
  • Scrub everything down. Swiffer the floor, clean the walls, wash the sheets, Pledge the counter-tops, etc...
Hopefully (if I somehow become Super Woman within the next month), this will all be done by March 1oth. Don't count on it, though. I like to procrastinate. See the following statement for reasons for procrastination that do not involve the internet: TELEVISION. I like it too much. Well, the shows are -made- for me. So yes. I'm entitled to watch them. Currently, here's a list of the things I watch, want to watch, or have watched (only anime currently being watched will be on the list):
  • Sailor Moon
  • Torchwood -- will re-watch and review
  • Queer as Folk -- will re-watch, probably just for pleasure
  • Will & Grace
  • American Idol
  • Past Life -- airing tonight!
  • Doctor Who
  • RuPaul's Drag Race
  • House
  • So You Think You Can Dance
  • 21 Jump Street -- not on anymore. your point?
  • America's Next Top Model
  • Law and Order: Criminal Intent
  • Law and Order: Special Victims Unit
  • CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
  • Project Runway
  • Degrassi: The Next Generation -- pre-sibling takeover
  • Spongebob Squarepants
  • Glee
  • Dollhouse
  • The Cake Boss
  • Amazing Wedding Cakes
  • Ultimate Cake Off
  • Say Yes to the Dress
As you can see, Fox Network clearly owns all my life. I'm sure there's more, too. How sad. But not really. I've devised a plan. I'm going to watch them all. On Hulu/the internet/the television. I'm just gonna do it.

I'm also thinking of making a Johnny Depp Movie blog, where I watch everything he's acted in and write a review on it. It will (of course) be biased, as I think that he's a sex. GOD. Yes.

Yeah, I think that's about it. Aside from the fact that I really do like music. I have to figure out a way to work that into here somewhere. Because I feel weird not talking about music at all. WHICH REMINDS ME: Fall Out Boy broke up last Thursday. Sadness to a very high level. -Sigh- They had so much potential. Now I find myself saying "okay, now I have to make sure Panic at the Disco doesn't break up." That would make me cry.

I haven't mentioned books. Not really. I just like to read. That's all, really. I have to read more. Wow, that was a useful paragraph. [/sarcasm]

Quick recap: money -- being saved, lots of television -- being watched/to be watched, music -- being listened to, Johnny Depp Movie blog -- to be started, books -- liked. Yay, productivity. And as soon as I can, I'm going to take a picture of this church sign around the corner from my house. I laugh my ass off every time I see it. I promise you'll enjoy it.

L-O-V-E always,
Clarke

Doll Fund: $49.45/$383.28
Current Anime: Sailor Moon (episode 68/2oo)
-- The Secret of the Luna Sphere

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Because I Hate Football

Today is not "Superbowl Sunday." Today is Sunday, February 7, 2o1o, and I do not enjoy football in the least. It's not because I have something against the sport. I just don't like it, and I don't like the fact that there are days that aren't holidays centered around sports. I understand the Olympics. That's a worldwide thing, but don't rename my Sunday just so you can have your beer, chips, and sweaty, padded men.

BUT. That's besides the point. I'm supposed to be doing something. I just got sidetracked. I do that way too often. The point of this was to be a phone photo dump. And I e-mailed myself all the pictures just in time. A couple of days ago, my Crackberry Curve committed suicide. So yes, here are the pictures that I took of the Never Shout Never concert, and then a few from random places here and there.

I made some hot chocolate, and this is what the leftover did. All by itself


This is the beginning of the Never Shout Never Photos.
o1.24.2o1o. Best way to welcome the new year.

He's so cute in hats!
I can't describe how fast my heart raced when he sang.

He plays the harmonica. <3
Blurry picture is blurry. I was crying. Couldn't see straight.
That's what happens when he plays Losing It.
Oh my -God-, he's so cute. Just, all the time. Even when I can't take a decent shot.
Yan Yan! Owl: Active at night.
Only, it was much more fitting to turn this into a sexual reference. :)

And last but not least: M&Ms of win.
During finals week at school, someone dropped a bag of them. It was sooo pretty
So of course, I whipped out my phone and took a picture.
[NERD ALERT]

Okay, I've spammed this with enough photos for today (and possibly a few weeks). Guh. I have to count money for the doll fund, so I'm going to be lazy today and not give an exact amount. But I learned that with shipping and the double jointed body for my megi-2 dollzone, I'm looking at $383.28. -Sigh- ARGH. But I want my baby, so even with my buying a really, really cozy blanket (I buy things when ill) for ten bucks and the additional fees for him, I'm saving up.

Aside from that, there's not much else to say. I start second semester tomorrow (of my senior year in high school), and I'm not sure if I'm excited or scared. Probably a bit of both, but I'm trying to be positive about it.

Also, I have to set a goal for myself. I want to do a complete revamp and cleaning/cleaning out of my room. This will take place over the long weekend coming up. This isn't a goal as much as it is just something I want to do. Clear out clutter and all that good stuff. Maybe it'll help me get over this being sick. It's sort of died down from the flu to a persistent head cold/sinus migraine that I will get over. Woo! Yeah, recovery here I come.

Right. I'm going to stop typing now, before I make an even bigger fool of myself.

L-O-V-E always,
Clarke

Doll Fund: approx. $35.oo/$383.28
Current Anime: Sailor Moon (episode 63/2oo)

Friday, February 5, 2010

Illness and Music

I swear. Does crazy things to a body.

Looking through pictures on my cell phone instead of resting. This is from the Never Shout Never concert on January 24th.

Christofer Drew in all his glory. When I'm not sick, I'll do a photo dump of the images on my cell phone.

Oh my God I had the most amazing time last night. I dreamt I saw you again. That's when the flashbacks started to begin. They started slow, but they picked up fast so I got off my ass and I ran away to California...

L-O-V-E always,
Clarke

Doll fund: $43.89/$35o.oo
Current Anime: Sailor Moon (episode 63/2oo)

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Oh, Hello

So, I should probably introduce myself, hm?

I'm Clarke. Female. 17. High school student in California. I love to write, read, and sing, and I've recently gotten into ball-jointed dolls (they're so pretty. -sigh-). I'm a senior in high school, and I've been reliving the better parts of adolescence lately by watching a bunch of anime. Yeah. Right now I'm watching Sailor Moon (2oo episodes) and remembering how absolutely dreamy I thought Tuxedo Mask was... He's still pretty cute. Anywho, I've been writing reviews of the stuff that I watch. I'll probaby end up posting the mini-reviews here.

So, what's this going to be about?

Honestly, I'm not quite sure. It'll be a journal of sorts, a tracking of animes watched, soon enough a place for all to see my ball-jointed dolls (save, save, save). Other than that, I'm not so sure. I'll try to update at least once a week, but I can't make any promises. Some entries will be longer than others, so don't expect the world from me. You're getting a lot from me now considering that I have the flu. I'm just glad the computer keyboard cable reaches the edge of my bed.

On that note, I've got a couple things I can share, and then I'm going back to sick people dreamland.
  1. I'm saving up for my very first ball-jointed doll. He's a DollZone megi-2 model (click here for official website photos). His name will be Xanifel (pronounced Zan-if-fell. Xan for short). He's $339.oo USD, but I plan on buying him from EdenDoll because they ship to the US without ridiculous charges. All in all, I have to save up about $35o.oo USD, give or take thirty bucks for shipping, tracking, and insurance. At the bottom of every post there will be a doll funds progress report. Feel free to smack me on the head if I make reverse progress or don't have progress for weeks.
  2. I've already watched Elfen Lied. The review will follow. At the bottom of the doll fund progress report, I'll have the anime that I'm currently watching. Onto the review!
--
Review for: Elfen Lied
click image for full synopsis (via anime news network)
  1. Episodes: 13
  2. Rating: mature (very, very mature)
  3. Final episode date: 1o-17-2oo4
  4. Review: Very bloody (arm loss within the first five minutes). The main character (Lucy/Nyuu) and her split personality are kick. Ass. Downsides; a little bit plotty at times (too much forcing the story onto the watcher, not enough blood/action), fanservice, incest? (cousins...yeah, no.) Overall, though, a good (if a little confusing) story line, great character development, and very, very fun to watch. Recommended for anyone who likes blood/mild gore, psychological trauma, the partial supernatural, or naked/busty women.
  5. My favorite character: Kurama
    --
L-O-V-E always,
Clarke

Doll fund: $43.89/$35o.oo
Current Anime: Sailor Moon (episode 23/2oo)