OW -- A Rant

For those weak of heart: do not read on.

So, today is not a day just like any other. Today, the cramps from Hell have returned. Yes. I know you are all deeply interested in how I feel like I'm hemorrhaging (isn't that a lovely mental image?), but I really don't care. I feel the need to rant about shit today, and now you all know that it's not going to be coherent because I'm being a girl. UCK.

Well, first of all, my aunt was supposed to take me to get a bank account yesterday. And then she came home and was too tired. I had about this much sympathy for her --> . I know, I'm evil and cruel, but whatever. She pinkie promised, which are kind of the promises that are the most important. I take my promises very seriously, and anyone who doesn't keep them falls a peg or two. She did make me tea, however, so I suppose she's not that bad.

Anyway. I still don't have a bank account. In other news, mother has been really nice lately, and it's kind of creeping me out. Maybe she started going to counseling or something. I dunno. I'm wary.

I'm trying to find a ball-jointed doll that's between 48 and 55 cm for Xan to love and have and hold forever, but they seem to be far and few in between. Some of Luts' Delf dolls fit the bill, so we'll see. Damn but Luts is expensive. I'm waiting on this little one first. However, I need to find a way to start making money. I can make origami strawberries, but that's not really all that amazing, is it? I plan on selling books and stuff, but I need to find a used bookstore. I also have a lifeguard interview next weekend. We'll see how this goes.

Onto bigger things. In American Identity, we have sections. The problem with sections is this one boy who I would like to strangle. Let's call him... "Bill." Bill has this annoying habit of talking really loudly when he wants to get his point across. Not to mention that everything that comes out of Bill's mouth is Republican bullshit. And not even the intelligent kind. It's the kind of "We should trust America at all costs. So what if they're taking away our privacy and so what if it goes further? We're America. We need to be protected and we should all want to give up everything for our country" bullshit that makes me want to die. There's a side of "Racism is never going to end so we should just get used to it, but terrorism we can stop because we're America" bullshit. I can't wait to argue with him when we get to talking about...homosexuality. I will have my facts straight and put his little not-knowing self to shame. God, he annoys the hell out of me every time he opens his big, fat mouth. Jesus, Bill. Just Jesus.

Furthermore, I don't understand why cramps happen. I mean, I understand that my uterus is falling out (another delicious mental image), but why does it have to hurt like a mother fucker? I don't get it. I want to stab whatever "God" there is that would make this shit happen. And hurt. I don't even want kids. I hate them. Why can't I just go to the doctor and have them scrape the whole disgusting thing out? That way there will be no more hemorrhaging and flaky uteri. God, I'm being so vulgar, aren't I? Jesus.

And to top it all off, I still haven't watched another episode of Sailor Moon. I plan on changing that in the very, very near future (as soon as I post this, I'm curling up with a hot water bottle, tea, and the computer). I need a laptop. Then I can watch it from bed. Ah well. I can't always get what I want.

Okay, now I want to talk a little bit about school and chorus and all those "fun" extracurricular activities. First of all, I have to be at school today from one to three. Why? It's raining (fucking Southern California doesn't have its shit together), and I'm not in a good mood. AUGH. And on Sunday at 3:3o, I have to be at a church in South Pasadena to sing for chorus. Wait. Rewind. It's a school class. Why should I sing your fucking Jesus music at a church? What if its against my religion? It kind of is, seeing as I'm particularly allergic to churches. They stand for oppression and conformity. You know what? Fuck churches. Fuck Jesus. Fuck it all. I hate churches. I hate being in them and singing for them and learning in them. Fuck the teacher, too. Good God I hate him. Just. No. I have to wear a dress that makes me look like a piece of drapery and heels. I have to stand in front of old men and women who can't sing a lick, and I have to do it with cramps for an hour. Damn it all.

I complain a lot. But I swear, it'll only happen when I feel like the world hates me (or I'm hemorrhaging). So yeah. I'm off to watch Sailor Moon now. Maybe when I get home from school my aunt will take me to go get my stupid bank account. Which we're probably going to do with the Credit Union.

I wish I could put a maturity warning on this thing because I just read it, and I feel the need to shower. Yep. Oh well.

L-O-V-E always,
Clarke

Doll Fund: $84.96/$383.28 -- 22.17% (I bought his wig)
Current Anime: Sailor Moon (episode 73/2oo) -- Smart Payoff

P.S. I'm having a moment of weakness. I wish somebody cared.

Idol Flop

American Idol: the girls so far are not impressing me. Can I have Adam Lambert back please?

I'm Home!

And tired as fuck. :)

I was out of town on Friday and most of Saturday. I came home at around five and was in bed by 5:o3. I hate sleeping in a bed that's not mine, and I quickly got reacquainted with my long lost bedsheets. I then proceeded to sleep like the dead until approximately ten minutes ago. But now I'm up and it's time to start being productive and stuff. I don't have too much to do homework-wise. Physics is the only thing that may prove challenging. Math and English are the other assignments I have to work on, but I plan on having a lot of fun with it. Yeah, I know, I have fun with math because I am one of the biggest nerds on the planet.

Nerdiness aside, I'd just like to say that I've got to stop having homework as a second semester senior so that I can actually watch Sailor Moon and movies like I planned to. Hell, I'll probably end up doing that anyway, so what's the point in saying I wish I had less to do? Oh, right, for the sake of having something to say.

Um, I don't really have too terribly much to talk about. I miss Sal and Josh, but I hope to talk to them tonight. Time to count money for the Doll Fund!

/counts . . . five minutes later

Wow. $75.1o. I have more than I thought I did. Awesome. I'm at about 2o% of the way to Xanifel, which means that I may have to change my ticker to some date that isn't April 15th. I mean, another month or couple weeks after that shouldn't be so bad, right? At least I'm making progress. I hope to be much more frugal over the next few months, sell a few books [/grimace], and things like that. I mean, I have books that I'm never going to read again. I might ask the family to move their cars from the driveway and put out all the books I'm never going to read for sale. Depending on how old they are, that's how I'll price them. I'm thinking of selling my Twilight books too, even though I'm kind of fond to them. But it's not like I ever plan to read them again...Yeah. I've got some decisions to make. And I plan on having this sale next weekend at the latest.

Oh! I may be getting my very own bank account. :) It'll happen next weekend (if I'm not busy), and then I'll be able to put money into my PayPal account and start a very tangible fund for Xanifel that is on the computer. Yeah. Woo.

Okay, that's it. I'm gonna go be productive and do homework, then scrub down my car and start on getting things organized to sell in my room. Yay money earning.

L-O-V-E always,
Clarke

Doll Fund: $75.1o/$383.28 -- 19.59%
Current Anime: Sailor Moon (episode 73/2oo) -- Smart Payoff

Oh, Shit

It's Valentine's Day. Also known as Single Awareness Day. I'm not so sure I like either. I mean, sure, I like the idea of Valentine's Day, but the actual holiday blows. It's the time where if you leave your house, all you see are couples trying to such each others' faces off or eating chocolate.

I want someone to give me chocolate.

Even still, I have Valentines. Technically. I have Sal and Ebly. But they both have boyfriends. Which means that they both have the actual Valentine's Day thing going on, and I don't want to intrude upon that. So I won't.

Hmm, I haven't actually been productive lately. I think that I'll do homework and actually start on that list that I've been putting off forever. The one that involves a major cleaning. Then again, I could do homework and then sit and watch television. Or even stay on the computer and watch Sailor Moon. OR I could be a really productive member of society and go to the mall and see if anyone's hiring. If I want to buy Xan before I leave for college, my ass needs a job.

I wonder who would be hiring. I may ask the local Wal-Mart, and since I'm seventeen now, more stores in the mall will actually think about hiring me. This means, however, that I have to put on nice-ish clothing and drag myself away from the computer. I could always do it Monday and make a list today of the different stores that are hiring.

HA! That's a great idea. Yay, self-satisfaction with being lazy. Unless I can hang out with Rimi. Then we'll go to the mall and try to be upstanding teenagers. -Rolls eyes- Yeah, okay.

It beats being alone on Valentine's Day.

I don't really have anything to say. I should probably stop typing now.

L-O-V-E always,
Clarke

Doll Fund: $49.45/$383.28
Current Anime: Sailor Moon (episode 73/2oo) -- Smart Payoff

Mama, oh Mama

Let me please leave.
-Christofer Drew (The Past)

Addendum: sometimes what isn't said speaks louder than what you think I mean. Are you listening?

And I Can't Seem to Relax

Not much to say here, really. I'm talking for the sake of talking. Just setting up what I plan to be doing in the next few weeks and whatnot. I'm just about back to where I started saving for Xanifel, which is good. And next week, we'll have even more progress. My goal is to have my baby ordered by April 15, 2o1o. That would be ideal, and it would also make me so happy.

Doll talk aside, I wanted to update the two of you that read this about what's going on in life. I had my last water polo game today (we won!), and it was a very interesting game. I was rubbed upon, hit on in the locker room, called sexy, stared down my coach (in addition to the rest of the team), got a rose from my coach because I'm a senior, and cried. All in all a very productive day of water polo. Now, however, I have to take care of both my finger (which is hurting like hell) and the rest of my body. Now that I'm not in the water every day, I'll be able to have a chance at staying remotely healthy for the rest of the school year.

That's about it social life wise. I don't really have much of one. So, onto the lists. There will be lists for the following things detailing procedure and all that jazz: cleaning/reorganizing my room and all my stuff, watching Sailor Moon and other anime, reading, watching/possibly reviewing RuPaul's Drag Race (seasons 1 and 2 [currently in progress]), and watching Will & Grace. I feel like I have to explain the final one. I was with my cousin, and she was watching Will & Grace. After watching a few episodes, I feel like I would be doing a disservice to myself if I were to deprive myself of the hilarity that is this show for much longer. Its witty and actually has a semi-continuous plot line, even though the majority of the guys are gay. That may make the show a bonus... Indeed, indeed it does.

Alas, I digress. Lists, as promised. AND I counted money, so I'll have an exact count today. :]

Cleaning/Reorganizing the room:

• Sort all clothing into piles and wash. Fold and put away.
• Clear all junk/trash/do-not-belongs. Sort into sellable and keepable piles. Put away the keepables.
• Sort all books into three categories: keep, sell, return. -Groan- I don't want to sell any of my books. I like them all too much. I hate giving them away. What if I miss them? I know I won't, but I get attached to them. I like books. More than I like shoes. Hmm...they're like my babies.
• Organize the sewing drawer. -Grimace- Just...yes.
• Clean all counter-tops and open spaces from clutter. Recycle papers and stuff.
• Gather all shoes and sort: sell, give away, trash, keep. Unfortunately, I am a pack rat, and I own shoes that will do no good to anyone ever again. Blame my mother. She likes to hang on to things.
• Create a sewing area in the room dedicated solely to the materials for sewing. That includes: sewing machine, fabrics, glue gun and glue.
• Dedicate a space for Xanifel. Do not put anything in this space, no matter how tempting it seems.
• Scrub everything down. Swiffer the floor, clean the walls, wash the sheets, Pledge the counter-tops, etc...

Hopefully (if I somehow become Super Woman within the next month), this will all be done by March 1oth. Don't count on it, though. I like to procrastinate. See the following statement for reasons for procrastination that do not involve the internet: TELEVISION. I like it too much. Well, the shows are -made- for me. So yes. I'm entitled to watch them. Currently, here's a list of the things I watch, want to watch, or have watched (only anime currently being watched will be on the list):

• Sailor Moon
• Torchwood -- will re-watch and review
• Queer as Folk -- will re-watch, probably just for pleasure
• Will & Grace
• American Idol
• Past Life -- airing tonight!
  
• Doctor Who
• RuPaul's Drag Race
• House
• So You Think You Can Dance
• 21 Jump Street -- not on anymore. your point?
• America's Next Top Model
• Law and Order: Criminal Intent
• Law and Order: Special Victims Unit
• CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
• Project Runway
• Degrassi: The Next Generation -- pre-sibling takeover
• Spongebob Squarepants
• Glee
• Dollhouse
• The Cake Boss
• Amazing Wedding Cakes
• Ultimate Cake Off
• Say Yes to the Dress
  

As you can see, Fox Network clearly owns all my life. I'm sure there's more, too. How sad. But not really. I've devised a plan. I'm going to watch them all. On Hulu/the internet/the television. I'm just gonna do it.

I'm also thinking of making a Johnny Depp Movie blog, where I watch everything he's acted in and write a review on it. It will (of course) be biased, as I think that he's a sex. GOD. Yes.

Yeah, I think that's about it. Aside from the fact that I really do like music. I have to figure out a way to work that into here somewhere. Because I feel weird not talking about music at all. WHICH REMINDS ME: Fall Out Boy broke up last Thursday. Sadness to a very high level. -Sigh- They had so much potential. Now I find myself saying "okay, now I have to make sure Panic at the Disco doesn't break up." That would make me cry.

I haven't mentioned books. Not really. I just like to read. That's all, really. I have to read more. Wow, that was a useful paragraph. [/sarcasm]

Quick recap: money -- being saved, lots of television -- being watched/to be watched, music -- being listened to, Johnny Depp Movie blog -- to be started, books -- liked. Yay, productivity. And as soon as I can, I'm going to take a picture of this church sign around the corner from my house. I laugh my ass off every time I see it. I promise you'll enjoy it.

L-O-V-E always,
Clarke

Doll Fund: $49.45/$383.28
Current Anime: Sailor Moon (episode 68/2oo) -- The Secret of the Luna Sphere

Because I Hate Football

Today is not "Superbowl Sunday." Today is Sunday, February 7, 2o1o, and I do not enjoy football in the least. It's not because I have something against the sport. I just don't like it, and I don't like the fact that there are days that aren't holidays centered around sports. I understand the Olympics. That's a worldwide thing, but don't rename my Sunday just so you can have your beer, chips, and sweaty, padded men.

BUT. That's besides the point. I'm supposed to be doing something. I just got sidetracked. I do that way too often. The point of this was to be a phone photo dump. And I e-mailed myself all the pictures just in time. A couple of days ago, my Crackberry Curve committed suicide. So yes, here are the pictures that I took of the Never Shout Never concert, and then a few from random places here and there.

I made some hot chocolate, and this is what the leftover did. All by itself

This is the beginning of the Never Shout Never Photos.
o1.24.2o1o. Best way to welcome the new year.

He's so cute in hats!
I can't describe how fast my heart raced when he sang.

He plays the harmonica. <3
Blurry picture is blurry. I was crying. Couldn't see straight.
That's what happens when he plays Losing It.
Oh my -God-, he's so cute. Just, all the time. Even when I can't take a decent shot.
Yan Yan! Owl: Active at night.
Only, it was much more fitting to turn this into a sexual reference. :)

And last but not least: M&Ms of win.
During finals week at school, someone dropped a bag of them. It was sooo pretty
So of course, I whipped out my phone and took a picture.
[NERD ALERT]

Okay, I've spammed this with enough photos for today (and possibly a few weeks). Guh. I have to count money for the doll fund, so I'm going to be lazy today and not give an exact amount. But I learned that with shipping and the double jointed body for my megi-2 dollzone, I'm looking at $383.28. -Sigh- ARGH. But I want my baby, so even with my buying a really, really cozy blanket (I buy things when ill) for ten bucks and the additional fees for him, I'm saving up.

Aside from that, there's not much else to say. I start second semester tomorrow (of my senior year in high school), and I'm not sure if I'm excited or scared. Probably a bit of both, but I'm trying to be positive about it.

Also, I have to set a goal for myself. I want to do a complete revamp and cleaning/cleaning out of my room. This will take place over the long weekend coming up. This isn't a goal as much as it is just something I want to do. Clear out clutter and all that good stuff. Maybe it'll help me get over this being sick. It's sort of died down from the flu to a persistent head cold/sinus migraine that I will get over. Woo! Yeah, recovery here I come.

Right. I'm going to stop typing now, before I make an even bigger fool of myself.

L-O-V-E always,
Clarke

Doll Fund: approx. $35.oo/$383.28
Current Anime: Sailor Moon (episode 63/2oo)

Illness and Music

I swear. Does crazy things to a body.

Looking through pictures on my cell phone instead of resting. This is from the Never Shout Never concert on January 24th.

Christofer Drew in all his glory. When I'm not sick, I'll do a photo dump of the images on my cell phone.

Oh my God I had the most amazing time last night. I dreamt I saw you again. That's when the flashbacks started to begin. They started slow, but they picked up fast so I got off my ass and I ran away to California...

L-O-V-E always,
Clarke

Doll fund: $43.89/$35o.oo
Current Anime: Sailor Moon (episode 63/2oo)

Oh, Hello

So, I should probably introduce myself, hm?

I'm Clarke. Female. 17. High school student in California. I love to write, read, and sing, and I've recently gotten into ball-jointed dolls (they're so pretty. -sigh-). I'm a senior in high school, and I've been reliving the better parts of adolescence lately by watching a bunch of anime. Yeah. Right now I'm watching Sailor Moon (2oo episodes) and remembering how absolutely dreamy I thought Tuxedo Mask was... He's still pretty cute. Anywho, I've been writing reviews of the stuff that I watch. I'll probaby end up posting the mini-reviews here.

So, what's this going to be about?

Honestly, I'm not quite sure. It'll be a journal of sorts, a tracking of animes watched, soon enough a place for all to see my ball-jointed dolls (save, save, save). Other than that, I'm not so sure. I'll try to update at least once a week, but I can't make any promises. Some entries will be longer than others, so don't expect the world from me. You're getting a lot from me now considering that I have the flu. I'm just glad the computer keyboard cable reaches the edge of my bed.

On that note, I've got a couple things I can share, and then I'm going back to sick people dreamland.

1. I'm saving up for my very first ball-jointed doll. He's a DollZone megi-2 model (click here for official website photos). His name will be Xanifel (pronounced Zan-if-fell. Xan for short). He's $339.oo USD, but I plan on buying him from EdenDoll because they ship to the US without ridiculous charges. All in all, I have to save up about $35o.oo USD, give or take thirty bucks for shipping, tracking, and insurance. At the bottom of every post there will be a doll funds progress report. Feel free to smack me on the head if I make reverse progress or don't have progress for weeks.
2. I've already watched Elfen Lied. The review will follow. At the bottom of the doll fund progress report, I'll have the anime that I'm currently watching. Onto the review!

--

Review for: Elfen Lied
click image for full synopsis (via anime news network)

1. Episodes: 13
2. Rating: mature (very, very mature)
3. Final episode date: 1o-17-2oo4
4. Review: Very bloody (arm loss within the first five minutes). The main character (Lucy/Nyuu) and her split personality are kick. Ass. Downsides; a little bit plotty at times (too much forcing the story onto the watcher, not enough blood/action), fanservice, incest? (cousins...yeah, no.) Overall, though, a good (if a little confusing) story line, great character development, and very, very fun to watch. Recommended for anyone who likes blood/mild gore, psychological trauma, the partial supernatural, or naked/busty women.
5. My favorite character: Kurama
   --
   

L-O-V-E always,
Clarke

Doll fund: $43.89/$35o.oo
Current Anime: Sailor Moon (episode 23/2oo)